「ゲーム改造と言われても否定できないぞ」とGitHub上で公開されていたオープンソースの62進数BMSを読み込み可能にするLR2用DLLパッチを叩く人を何人も見たことあるので「BMS界隈って改造を心底嫌がってるな」ってずっと思っていたが
LR2IRを勝手に引き継ごうとしてサーバーに接続するためのDLLパッチ（ましてやLLMにVibecodingしてもらったクローズドソースなもの）まで配布する人が現れたらたった数日で人が数百人もそのIRに集まってきた・・・ 世の中は何を良しとするのかもう分からない。

I wrote about LR2IR's closure and what I personally intend to do next. The incident put a dent in my desire to work on my upcoming BMS. It's putting a dent in my desire to continue playing. None of these two things will stop but they will slow down a lot.

The situation annoys me because I can foresee that people will try to ride on the opportunity to create a successor to LR2 and LR2IR.
They will likely not come together or contribute to projects that already exist and instead work on their own thing.
The more incredulous ones may believe that entrusting the entirety of such large scale projects to Cl〇ude or some other jerkoff tool to produce work that they can only interface with using their word salad robot is a reasonable course of action.

But regardless of the method they use to work, the people who intend to make new players and IR services from the ground up with this very specific objective that is filling the void left behind by LR2 and LR2IR's discontinuation are engaging themselves in an arms race. In search of reclaiming the IR service that provided unity (beyond providing rankings, LR2IR was commonly known to be a massive information hub) we're moving towards separation.
I hope this won't last very long and that one option that doesn't compromise on quality will emerge and bring us together the same way LR2IR brought us together.

And if you want my advice, the so-called "vibecoded" wannabe LR2IR successor that broke the LR2IR terms of use by redistributing the game files (with modifications no less) and corrupted a player's song database all the while being hosted on someone's home connection instead of a "proper" server is not that option and you're probably better off playing offline for now...

I spent a long time immersed in TF2. If you did too then you may have heard of Lange. At least for this moment: I became curious about what Lange is doing after all these years, so I got searching and what I understood is that he severed ties with TF2, then started posting things that really worried people on HLTV who likened it to a schizophrenic episode until he apparently got support from his surroundings before taking down his website, YouTube channel, Bandcamp, every trace of his online presence...

It's not like I knew him personally but it made me think about how so many people I've got to know have had something terrible happen to them, or they got swallowed by some alt-right nonsense that replaced most of their personality with the ardent belief that this and that group of people are the root of most evils in the world and now it's most of what they talk about, or they had some sort of big "mental health episode" that may or may not have received attention online and collapsed, not unlike what Lange went through.

It makes me worried that something will also happen to me. I was given none of the cards you need to grow into a stable person, which might be sometimes reflected in the way I interact with people in the 3 chatrooms I can stomach using. It's a miracle that pangs of loneliness and struggling with mood and an almost complete inability to trust people are the only major problems I have.

Something less gloom... I'm preparing a BMS release.

The blog article I mentioned earlier is out. Finally.

It is very ironic, but after spending many hours listening to people tell me about the tragedies in their lives and being surrounded by colleagues who talk about how they suffer from listening to people talk about their problems all day, I have come to believe that I am placing unnecessary weight on people when I tell them what I go through.

Because of this I feel immense guilt talking about myself and the suffering I bear. But I couldn't not write this article, I owed myself this much, so I tried to not make it entirely about miserable little me.

In other news, I've been having computer problems recently.
My Windows 11 install unexplicably collapsed two days ago and I cannot boot into it anymore. So I've been booting into my old computer's drive, with Windows 10 on it. People online say that this is a terrible idea, that Windows will freak out because the hardware and drivers are different and blah blah blah, but as far as I can tell I'm completely fine.

I believe, and I may be wrong, that this may have been caused by Windows 11 updates failing ("Something didn't go as planned. No need to worry — undoing changes.") over and over again which has a chance to damage the OS in a way that stuff like sfc /scannow cannot catch every time it happens. And if that truly is the cause then I've got nothing but Windows 11 to blame.

I've turned a blind eye to the fear surrounding Windows 11 but now that I went through this I lost the trust I had in Microsoft. I think I'm out of the woods now and while I have access to project files that open with no errors or missing VSTs I'll keysound songs... And I guess the next step is Linux.

Where did the site admin go after opening this Journal? Bingo? Well yes indeed. I spent the last chunk of February playing through Resident Evil 4. I'm impressed by the way this game plays, got me thinking about areas of game design I hadn't thought much about before.

A lot of shooters I've played are very similar in how they incorporate their guns. The player starts with a pistol and acquires a growing arsenal of weapons throughout the game, each weapon being situational, headshots are very rewarding, and ammo is limited but so plentiful that it is trivial to think about it.

Because this is true for so many games, my experience is often the same. Whatever's the situation, I stick to the pistol and, always on the move, I click heads from far away, my ammo for everything but the pistol usually maxed out at all times, because the game lets me do that, unless the difficulty is ramped up to the maximum, which in my experience generally means that enemies deal more and receive less damage, are more plentiful and aim better and faster.

This game was different and did not let me play how I usually play. Ammo is sparse compared to how much damage enemies can take, even for the handgun, and Leon is very strong but not some superagile freak who can run at mach 7 and dodge everything with enough skill (walking back is quite slow, strafing is not possible and there is no jump button). Even when shooting heads all the time, the pistols can't resolve all situation, at times the knockback of the shotgun or the wide radius of a grenade is absolutely necessary to fight off a group.

I was confused and slightly bothered to find out that you can't purchase ammo but I believe the game is all the more interesting thanks to this. I still struggled lot with remembering to use grenades, a problem I have in all games, perhaps because of many traumatizing experiences in CSGO where I would never land my damn grenades or injure myself or my teammates with them...

The game also made me realize I'm infinitely more comfortable playing horror games in third-person over first-person. Things getting very close to my face has a much stronger effect than being chased or facing off against a very large/tall monstruous creature, and the third person camera dramatically mitigates this. Nevertheless it was very hard to look at the Novistadors and Regeneradors to the point where I don't quite remember their features off the top of my head even though I was looking at and shooting at some a little while ago.

I believe modern games place a lot of importance on "movement that feels like you're in control" which translates to a lot of lenience, complex control schemes that reward players who put in the effort required to get comfortable with such control schemes, and when this idea was presented to me I thought of the many NES games that feature slow and stiff characters who, by their inability to dodge much of anything, incite players to give up on trying to understand how enemies move and attack and just mash the B button and pray that enemies die before they do. Because I thought of such games, I've subscribed to the idea that "leniency in video game controls makes games feel great". But playing this game made me reconsider that, at least in the context of shooters.

People may have noticed that despite starting a Blog 2 years ago I hardly write anything on it...

The reason why is not because I have little to write about, but rather because I struggle a lot with writing down thoughts in a way that is organized and I've come to (perhaps wrongly) convince myself that a blog article requires a minimum length that I barely ever manage to meet, resulting in articles staying unfinished.

As an attempt to solve this I decided to start this Journal. The layout is similar to the Blog section (in fact it uses the same .css file as the Blog) but everything will be contained in a single page and posts will be as long as 2 lines if I feel like it. I think I'll be using this the same way I used Twitter.

The Blog will of course continue to stay and receive updates. In fact I should have an article ready for it soon, but more on that in a few months...

Also I've been listening to ytpmv elf daily for about 3 weeks. I'm not sure what's going on but it's healing me, I think.